Fall again

I've been to Europe and back, and I've been to Canada and back.
Life is going on....I'm getting better at not sharing every sorted detail of your death with every stranger that speaks to me.

I feel like I came back from Italy different. It gave me a new perspective. Also, prior to going I listened to your messages again just to hear them with fresh ears. I got the feeling you really didn't want to go to Italy, you said it was "my thing, not yours" and that you hoped I would still go and maybe take one of the girls. Well you got out of that trip, sort of. Your ashes were tucked into a little case labeled "make up remover" and I took you everywhere.
My biggest sad moment was Sorrento, living in a villa with 8 other people, being the 9th, being the odd one out. I now know what Aunt Tillie must have felt like traveling around with your parents, being the spinster aunt who never married. I wonder how many times she witnessed your parents disagreements and thought "glad to be single". Terry & Eva get alone very well, and I hardly ever thought, glad to be single.

It's now the end of August and it feels like autumn is just around the corner, I know this always makes me miss you more, we loved fall together, we talked about it all the time, about how the leaves were changing, a tinge of cool in the air, today is overcast and they're calling for rain, it feels like fall for sure, next week the kids will go back to school. We would of been planning a trip to Hood River to get apples and salmon for the winter months. I baked lots of zucchini bread today, some of your favorites, now they're Chelsea's. The garden out front did well, the lawn looks sad, but you shouldn't have left me if you wanted it to look like a golf course :).

Well, dear I have other projects to plan for, so I will sign off.... I hope you and Dave met up and that there's golf in heaven.